THE POWER OF A WOMAN: OUR HEAD ABOVE STEREOTYPES

Being a lady on earth is filled with so much negative back drop and baggage when it comes to career especially in Africa. Countries like Puerto Rico, U.S.A, and Great Britain are exceptions of this due to the fact that they understand the place of career, purpose and destiny. These three are totally different and should be addressed as such but Nigerians put them up together. But regardless ladies, am here to tell you to make your own success story, because we have come to an era where nothing else really matter than what you can offer yourself and the society. What does the society know you for? A lazy woman, who depends one hundred percent on men to make it? One who isn’t bothered about what she doesn’t have? Well, I’m here to tell you to grow pass all that. I know there is so much negativity around due to your sex type but that shouldn’t weigh you down, that men are making it is enough reason for you to make it. I really indulge in ladies making it in life.

Find your purpose, this is the best thing you can do for yourself. You didn’t come in existence to be mediocre or to fill up the numbers of people on earth but rather you should be meteoric, the earlier you under that the better. Personally, looking at where I am coming from, I think I can say I have ‘1000’ and ‘1’ reasons not to push through. My dad is someone who feels the male child and female child shouldn’t be treated equally due to his ideology from decades ago. But then, things have changed and I had to prove that to him not by words but by actions. I took steps and I didn’t allow his belief pull me back rather it motivated me to be better and I convinced my dad that a female child is equal if not better than a male child. Today my father proudly says he is proud of myself and my sisters and can stand for us anywhere. He wouldn’t say this if we didn’t challenge his ideology about the female sex. Later on he was forced to let out the reasons why he feels female children are a waste! He says they are always wayward, lack vision, are not helpful and all, this is due to his experience he had, so I and my sisters changed his orientation forever about ladies. you can too, be one of the good ladies with a vision, with the none giving up spirit, good character and one who knows her God. There is nothing like negativity only if you accept it, if I had to go by my dad’s belief, I wouldn’t be here today. I was able to work on myself, finished high school ‘15’; graduated from university at 19, finished service at ‘20’ and here I am at 21. No year passes away without me recording my success story. Am not the first to make it at this age and of course I won’t be the last. That’s why I am writing to you, to join the train.  

@lcbeatz_ said in his song that ‘no one can stop you, except you’. Tosin akerele shared her story at a seminar I attended few years back, telling us how her mother wanted her to go to school; how she didn’t believe in her and called her a bastard but here she is today. She is one of the women, making it great. Their plan might be different from yours; it’s fine because you are different. Negativity of any kind shouldn’t stop you. As a matter of fact, when God created man, he saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone probably it wouldn’t have been the case for women. So God created woman to be Man’s help meet i.e. you need us to survive. And he went on in another verse of the bible to say and I quote ‘he, who finds a wife, finds a GOOD thing and obtains favour from the LORD. My God knows what he kept in the life of a woman before and after he said it. On another hand, @Lami Philip said ‘the fact that God gave women the power to birth is unique’. It means we can bring life to the world. Now, being a lady doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be who you want to be or you shouldn’t have passion or you shouldn’t matter or add value to the society. Women were created just like men were and they were born with something, why on earth should they be deprived/should you deprive yourself the opportunity to let out what have been deposited in them by God.

PUT GOD FIRST

Putting God first is the beginning of any success a man can attain. No wonder the bible made us understand that we should seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing will follow. Putting God first will make any obstacles you going through or you might go through easy because you can confidently go to him and tell him ‘lord we started this, lets continue’ and definitely he is going to show up. There are times when I can be very lazy and, if I had my way I would not just push though but my love for success and fulfillment keeps me going, this can happen to anyone. Because definitely there is going be a time where our strength will fail us, our knowledge of things will be exhausted, there would be no one to help but there is always this God to help, which is the more reason why you should always put him first, not second and definitely not at the middle. Acknowledge him and let him know you are nothing without him, but in his strength you receive strength and in his wisdom you receive wisdom. Any foundation built by God is an everlasting one and his word says and I quote ‘if the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do. This is to tell us the gravity of importance placed on the foundation of anything we do. Cobham said and I quote ‘God knows what’s best for us as humans and we only see a fraction of the big picture, which is what he sees. Thus, putting our plans and activities in his hands is the simply best because it saves you from some stress and only he knows the end right from the very beginning.

I viewed yemi alade’s snap story days back and I was shocked at what I saw, she was backstage while people were around, she and her team were praying before they went on stage. And then, I was like ‘heaven’, even people that do secular songs knows prayer is key, neither their effort nor wisdom do they place first, though am not judging her heart based on what she does. But I was impressed and my love for her grew stronger. In addition to this phase, for whatsoever plan you have, is it small or big in all spheres, asides putting it in Gods hand, ‘write down the vision and make it plain’ says the bible. It works because the bible says it and I believe it and I’ve tried it so has some couple of people I know and it has worked. It did really work. Your vision and desire manifest faster when it’s written. Some couple of people I know and it has worked. It did really work. Your vision and desire manifest faster when it’s written.

FOCUS

I love this! But frankly speaking, it’s at times really hard to focus. Especially in this present generation where things evolve fast and young people venture into diverse things and hit it big, legally or illegally which is none of my business though because that’s not why I’m writing this. Most people have been a victim of the fact that at one point or the other, you tend to realise that your attention or focus would shift from what you are supposed to focus on to what people do, why they are making it so big and you aren’t..... who cares? I want to mention that the only thing you can allow someone’s success story do to you is to motivate you not intimidate you because it’s not worth it. Everyone in life has their grass to grace story and am not sure you should be an exception, asides people who are born with a silver spoon. When people at the top share their success story and you see how far they’ve come, without being told you would know that the ‘focus’ factor of success has really helped them on their journey to the great height in which they have attained.

I engaged in a chat with a friend and she replied a message I sent earlier around 3.am, although I was still awake because I write mostly at night. So I began to wonder why she was still awake, I asked her and she mentioned she was thinking of how to make it. When I got this response I laughed so hard and of course I was very elated believe me, because I am a feminist and I love it when ladies go out there to prove that ladies aren’t an option of success but are success themselves by working hard. A thought then crossed my mind that what if she had someone she knows that’s setting paces and she was mad at herself for not being able to be like them at a time and she was over thinking and couldn’t sleep. It would be really terrible if that was the case because your focus would be shifted. My point here is, don’t get carried away by someone’s achievement, focus on yours and build it up, it works. Besides you are worth more because there is the you in you that only you know about, there is something you have that someone else don’t have, focus on that and build it up sister girl. Run your personal race and focus on what you know how to do best, don’t let anyone make you feel inferior; just do what you have to do because time will tell.

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CIRCLE

It’s pertinent to know that your circle can either make or mar you. Whosoever you mingle with will either add or subtract from you, and am sure we all know the minus is the loss. Mingle with positive minded people that believe in you and have similar vision as you do. If you are a goal getter and you mingle with someone who is fine because they eat three square meal a day, you are wrong. I would personally advice anyone to be with people that are better than you are; people that have greater vision than you do and you get motivated easily being with them. If you are walking, be with people who are running; if you are running be with people who are flying. You grow faster and better that way. Your circle can kill you, so pay keen attention to it, if you feel you don’t fit in where you are or you aren’t wanted in that circle please run because if you stay you would lose focus and get distracted. Don’t forget we spoke about focus as one of the most important factor of success. If being a loner is the only option you have please be, some people make it being a one man mopol, and you just might be one of them though. In addition, if you decide to manage where you are not wanted when the right people come you wouldn’t notice and then they might not know because you are busy in the wrong circle. And note that you move faster being alone at times. So study which ever makes you a better person than your yesterday, either being alone or being with friends, choose wisely. In all, avoid people who mess with your head intentionally or repeatedly and people who expect you to priotize them when they in turn do nothing to priotize you rather make you feel inferior. People like this breed negativity and are time wasters which in turn can lead you astray and make you lose focus.

NEVER HAVE THE NOTION THAT YOU LOST, ‘IT’S EITHER YOU WIN OR LEARN’

‘Saying you lost is fine’, but ‘being convinced that you actually lost’ is not. Life has its ups and down, we rise and we fall, but whatever it is that happens, whatever life throws at you, be of good faith and keep moving because nobody cares if you are fine or not. Most people say that they want to be known for not giving up. YES! and YES! The best thing you can do for yourself is believe in you and not giving up. Using myself as an example, when I participated in a beauty contest, as a finalist, I didn’t make it to be part of the top 5. I wasn’t glad it ended that way nut it happened and I had to take it with good faith, because I so much believe in myself, he that lives in me, and the fact that I give my best to whatever thing I indulge myself with. Losing the contest didn’t get to me, rather I was happy I was part of it, I got to know so many things about pageant, modelling and lot more which has helped me in some spheres of my life, it also gave me reasons to push through and lot more. So did I lose? No, I didn’t. I learnt and I became a better person.

Every success starts with a failure (little or big) because no one is perfect, every great person was once beginner who fell at a time in their life once or severally. You are not the first and you won’t be the last to lose. So why let it get to you? You try new things by going into it, only then will you be opportune to become better than the best. Note that nothing good comes easy, it’s comes by hard work and consistency, alongside the grace of God. Take risk yes!!! Take risk! Because its either you take the risk or lose the opportunity and you never can tell if the opportunity was yours. But if it’s not yours, keep moving don’t stop because you didn’t lose. You only got a step higher/better in achieving greatness and setting your pace. So in whatever you do, you either win or learn.

MOTIVATION AND INTIMIDATION

            This is so common among ladies, oh heaven! Ladies can easily and quickly get intimidated than guys. Seeing a fellow lady make it, you are going to be like ‘what am I really doing’? Afterwards, you get to feel bad but I urge you not to, because you are worth more. Feeling intimidated is so wrong because most times it gives room for jealousy to creep in and you start losing focus. That person you are being intimated by at some point in their life have been through what are going through and have been at the stage you are but they kept on pushing, and focusing on what they know how to do best and their purpose that why such person is able to record his/her success story. Instead of being intimidated which is the minus, let their success story motivate you to the path where you would find your purpose, what your heart craves for and push you to working on it or working on what you were about relenting or giving up on. Being intimidated can’t help; it only brings out the worse in you. I would also like to mention that you shouldn’t venture into something you don’t have passion for or go into something because someone is doing it.

I use to say ‘Got a passion? Act on it! It’s God given! Go for what you’ve got a passion for because there would be times that you would get weary, frustrated and it would seem like you are going to lose your focus, your passion is one of the major thing, if not the only thing that would sustain you. At times when you end up doing what someone else is doing which you don’t have passion for but because she/he is doing it big, you would at some point get stuck in the middle and you wouldn’t know where to go from there. The best thing is to find your purpose and act on it. Success would find you regardless of how long it takes, as long as you put in smart work and consistency, what is yours is going to be yours not by chance neither by luck but by gratitude and by grace. But always be on the move, don’t stop moving, push yourself. If you can’t push any longer, get someone or something to push you, this is where having good circle comes in. It can be someone’s success story, let it motivate you rather than intimidate you. You never can tell when they were at your level; they might not have done half of what you are doing, so why get mad at yourself? Be at your very best always, take it slow and steady. Do not jump at everything, be discerncive, know what is yours and go for it. Not every opportunity is yours so be calm about things. ‘Don’t be so thirsty that you end up drinking from every cup you see’. Some might be poisonous, and there just might not be an antidote for the poison. We all see the throw back pictures, and read the experiences and growing up stories of some of the great people we have today, so be wise and take things easy because everyone has a start. This is your start, how well do you want to make it. Don’t build your start on intimidation, rather be motivated, not intimidated.

Success exists in a woman’s world, its high time we stand together and demand so. We are more to the world than eye candy for the men. If men grew up with the ideology that it’s a man’s world, ladies shouldn’t accept that. It’s nobody’s world, but God and we should live equally in it.

            I would like to conclude by stating that I am a feminist who is hearty and clearly in full support of equality not just on the female part but on both sides. The equality I speak of isn’t about reducing the rights and standard of men. NO, NO! But about suppressing sexual degradation on women’s part and giving women the voice that has been long lost. I used women as a case study because they are the sex that is being looked down upon especially in Africa, Nigeria to be precised. Let’s make the world better than it is by giving each other the chance to do what our heart craves for and what we are created to be. Women like @moabudu @agbanidarego, @folorunsoalakija, @folakecoker, @chimamandaadichie, @funmiiyanda, amongst others did it and still doing it. More grease to their elbow, black is beautiful, black is power. You’ve made Nigeria proud and great through every legacy you laid. Likewise, you all have given younger female like me and others reasons to depend on God, be strong and stick to our purpose. so ladies/everyone let’s find our purpose and  make our success story.

#success #equality #letsbehappy #kindness #love #weneedtogrow #fearGod #womensupportwomen   #supporteachother   #togrow

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